Rumor out of Smash Box HQ is that a massive 12 player deal that includes the baby bull himself "Bryce Harper" has been on the table for about a week with an emotionally unstable manager. It is believed that the deal is on life support but keep refreshing those inboxes because there is still a chance Mike and Bryce may be separated forever.
2. Faris-well to and OF?
After weeks of trying to dump the aging Parrot King Edwin Encarnacion Matthew Faris finally found a home for him with the rebuilding Ghost of Chris Carter. The return netted him yet another OF leaving him with a Sunday Softball sized outfield (rover anyone?). Rumor has it RB has been shopping his bad outfielders to the entire league trying to convince everyone they are good. Secondary rumor has Tom Emanski owner Gregg eager to reunite with car-go jr. time will tell.
3. Gerritt Cole freaked out by Scherzer's eye - asked to be moved.
Speaking of Gregg, there appears to be a major issue with his rotation. TDGTR cameras were on site last week when Gerritt Cole requested a sit down with Owner Gregg to request a trade. Apparently Tom Emanski ace Max Scherzer's eyes were "tripping him out" causing him to lost control on the mount. Since the meeting Tom Emanski has been shopping Cole hard. One new rumor has him headed to Whiskey Tango with Xander Bogarts involved in the deal.
4. Tom Emanski uncomfortable with Chapman's Domestic Abuse issues - looking to move him
The internal drama just continues for the two time defending, cheating champmissioner as star closer Aroldis Chapman was cited for firing 8 bullets (we're unclear if he fired a gun or just threw 8 fastballs) through the ceiling of his home during a domestic dispute. Owner and now father of a daughter Gregg Angier has been asked by co-owner and wife to move the closer in favor of a "nicer player". So give Gregg a call if you have no moral compass and a win at all cost mentality.
5. 11 of 12 teams quoted as saying "Not Interested. I'm just gonna get Miggy at auction.
Early this week I had a call with Spruce Bruce Owner Taylor Holiday and asked him about the rumor that he was trying to move Jose Abreu and his $50 contract. He responded that yes he was looking to move the superstar first baseman but with little success at 11 of 12 managers said they would just sign Miggy at auction. Should be a busy season for ol miguel planning first for the whole league. With 10 open CI slots and only 1 premier CI talent available there is little doubt Miguel will approach the $60 price tag he got last year at auction.
6. Stroman concerned about returning to Moneygraph, calls owner "Stalkerish"
I spoke with young stud Marcus Stroman on news of his trade back to the Monograph Saberbeans and while he said he was honored to be consider a valuable enough piece to be traded for Chris Archer he was nervous about returning to play for Owner Andrew Faris. Stroman said that he had received 2183 text messages from Mr. Faris since his departure and had to change his number multiple times. He said he felt like "Ted" in the Mark Wahlberg movies with this guy playing the role of Andrew
7. Sciosca's Doghouse building for two years from now. Sells team for 1 year of Goldschmidt.
In the wake of the off season's biggest trade we met with Doghouse owner Mark and asked for his take on the deal. He said his team is two years away from competing for title and this helps move him closer. When asked if he realized Goldy was on a one year deal he responded "perfect".
8. Vultures are circling around Jimmy Dugan waiting to pluck Kris Bryant
Man that roster is on life support. Rumor has it every team in the league has reached out to Ashley (Kurt's soon to be wife) and asked him for his log in so they could just trade Kris Bryant to their team assuming Kurt was dead. We will see if he can pull a late Christmas miracle and revive this once proud... wait never mind.
9. FICA not open to any deals. Considering starting only Rizzo and Correa on offense saying "Anyone else will just be a distraction"
TGDTR undercover team this week posed as a league owner and offered Jeremy a trade to gauge his interest in moving starts Anthony Rizzo and Carlos Correa. The trade offered ping back an auto-response email that read "Please stop emailing me about Carlos Correa and Anthony Rizzo". After finally getting through the wall we were able to get a comment from Jeremy. He assured us that "he has nothing brewing with any manager" and that he was planning on making a big splash at the auction. I guess Adrian Beltre is getting paid again!
10. League newcomer Whiskey Tango hires trade consultant and former league manager Jason McIver.
After experiencing his first dose of "slightly, rapey trade antics" in his first trade with Matt Morris, Whiskey Tango owner was contacted by Jason who offered his services as a consultant. Jason's list of trade targets for Whiskey Tango was said to include all of the angels, Ken Griffey Jr., Mo Vaughn and Brandon Phillips.
As always please don't hesitate to reach out with scoop.
- Geeter Pammons
