Angier Trades Goldschmidt, Everyone Else, "Isn't Finished"

Within hours of an overhaul of The Daily Grind's labor agreement, Gregg Angier, the maverick owner and GM of Tom Emanski, pulled the trigger on 2 blockbuster trades comprised of 18 total pieces. Angier, whose club has won 2nd place in both of the first two TDG seasons, has now sent away 7 players whose 2014 contracts total $73, including Carlos Gonzalez, Curtis Granderson, and Paul Goldschmidt.

Goldschmidt's inclusion was particularly noteworthy: not only was the superstar first baseman signed to a very team-friendly $4 contract for 2014, but earlier this year Emanski sent 4 minor leaguers to Roosevelt and the Broncos to acquire him. Apparently the enigmatic Angier changed his mind.

In return for all of this, Angier has now received 7 minor slots (only one of which is currently occupied, by Danny Salazar) and 4 major leaguers, including Aroldis Chapman and Jurickson Profar.

These two deals constitute nothing short of a total league shake-up, and opinions on Angier's moves have been correspondingly outspoken and negative. Sources from within The Spruce Bruce organization have called his decisions "terrible" and asked rhetorically, "How can he win in the next 3 years?" Smashbox GM Matthew Morris has openly stated that Angier is now out of contention for 2014, quipping, "One down 12 more to go Sent from my iPhone" (sic). 2013 champion owner Joseph DeClercq openly asked if it was a "joke."

Angier, right, partying earlier this year with
one of his many girlfriends/mistresses. 

But Angier insists that he's nothing if not serious.

Such was the tone of his official comment when asked about his moves earlier today: "Yeah, we traded a bunch of dudes. And we'll trade some more. This team isn't finished making deals that will make us better. I have only one question for my haterz: how many times have you finished 2nd place in this league? That's what I thought. Merry f****** Christmas."

No word yet on whether or not the rules committee will move to fine Angier for his comments.